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5:43PM - Tuesday November 11, 2003 When did I first have an orgasm? I think I was eleven or twelve when I discovered my clit, and a little older when I discovered my vagina. I remember letting myself air dry after a shower and playing with the baby oil that was in one of the cupboards in the bathroom. *snerk* Air dry. That's what I told my mom when she wondered why the fuck it was taking me so long in the bathroom. I don't remember my first orgasm, but I know that I methodically masturbated every night for many of my pubescent years. The really funny thing is that about the time I got the whole hting figured out, articles in the Awake for young people were focused on the evils of masturbation for a couple of issues. Heh, the only problem was, they never actually said what it was, so my brother and I would nod sagely while we read them with our mother, and say that we wouldn't indulge in so filthy a habit. All the while I was happily giving myself orgasms every night. I think I was fourteen when I firgured out what the word masturbation meant, and I just kind of gave myself up for lost--I'd already been doing it for years, and there was no way I was going to stop! Fast forward to my eighteenth year, where I finally gain an interest in a boy, and he likes me back. I'll have to write another entry sometime just about kissing, I swear. Anyway, we get around to having sex after doing everything but for two or three months, and when I say everything, I mean everything because I lost my ass-virginity well before the traditional virginity. I was still a little hung up on Chritian value systems, or something, I guess. Anyway, I never had an orgasm all the time I was with him, pre or post broken hymen. I couldn't quite relax, or get used to the different kind of stimulation. I look back on it now, and I think I was having orgams, but they felt different than what I was used to. They weren't as intense, they were more of a whole-body tenses/relaxes kind of thing. I still initiated most of the sex, I never faked an orgasm, I enjoyed myself every time, and I got dumped. Woohoo. After four and a half years of flying solo by my own choice, I start having sex again. Some of it's with girls, some of it's with boys, some with both at the same time. Still no orgams, still initiating it most of the time, still enjoying every minute of it, still not faking. Orgams are great when I'm alone, so I'm still puzzled why I can't seem to have them with other people. Then one day, something clicked while I was having sex with the EvilEx, and I had this humongous spasm and he was all, "What was that?" I told him, "Dude, that was an orgasm!" It's like someone flicked a switch or something, and once I had it figured out, I duplicated the results every time. It was wicked. And then I met C. (Who at this point really deserves her own name in this journal, yes? Let me know.) She could ejaculate, and she taught me how to do it. For that I will always be grateful, and I always pass on my knowledge and skill to every woman I sleep with. A good deep g-spot ejaculation is one of the best kinds of orgasms there is. And I have to admit, I categorize them. There's the clit orgasms that I get from my Hitachi, and those are intense and wipe me right out. There's the ones from the Hitachi and my favourite dildo, which are also grand. I usually have an ejaculation with those. And then there are the ones I do by hand, which are different again, and that's just me flying solo. When I get with another person, there are infinite combinations of orgasms. You've heard about a lot of them already if you read my journal on a regular basis. Mass flooding baby. And yes, I'm one of those horrible women who can come just from being fucked. I believe in practice makes perfect, or at least pretty damn close. So my relationship with the orgasm is one I'm constantly working on, one I'm committed to, adn one that will hopefully last a lifetime.
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